What Are You Gonna Do When The Toilet Paper Runs Out?

I've been on my own for a month. The last person I ran into used my tp for bandages, then I killed him. Luckily, since food is scarce, I only go like once a week, which in itself is scarry. Yet I digress. Things I've found that don't work well, bricks, dirt and wallboard. I'm a little sceptical about using old soiled clothing as well. Any good ideas on a poo-poo paper substitute?

Tags: no, tp

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Permalink Reply by Michael T. Douglas on June 30, 2011 at 1:36pm

Well, a hand full of leaves will do ya. Watch out for poison ivy, though, you might not like the feeling that'll give ya.

Permalink Reply by James McDonald on June 30, 2011 at 10:12pm
I don't think finding something to wipe your ass with will be a problem. I wouldnt worry about soiled close, remember its just your ass lol. No I digress. Trust me unless there is blood on your clothes, whatever is on them won't be as bad as whats coming out of your ass.
Permalink Reply by Aric Hartzell on July 1, 2011 at 12:24am
The Twilight book pages would work out just fine for me.
Permalink Reply by James McDonald on July 1, 2011 at 9:12am
haha completely agreed.
Permalink Reply by Killroy on July 1, 2011 at 7:42am
Take a dump on them zombies. Lololol.
Permalink Reply by Rising Zombie on July 1, 2011 at 10:48am
Am sad to say after a while i would be eyeing Max Brooks book....blasphemy i know.
Permalink Reply by James McDonald on July 1, 2011 at 12:01pm
Thats probably the first useless thing Im going to use. Brooks is a fiction writer, who couldnt make it writing anything else except zombie books.
Permalink Reply by Aric Hartzell on July 1, 2011 at 1:09pm
Got something against zombie writers my dear sir?
Permalink Reply by PRIME_Ω_PREDATOR on July 1, 2011 at 2:53pm
Brooks is a comedy(SNL)/fiction writer brought up pampered in his Mother and Father's Bel Aire Home. He guessed at somethings in his survival guide and got close to being right. others you can tell he has no clue on. I read his books then passed them on down the line to an active military member. There are better books out there more fitted to the survival of a Zpoc.
Permalink Reply by Aric Hartzell on July 1, 2011 at 4:00pm

I was just asking James Mcdonald that because of the way he stated it. "couldn't make it writing anything else except zombie books." Made it seem like he thinks zombie books are just terrible and worthless to read. Not saying, "OMG HOW DARE U TLK ABOUT BROOKS LIKE THAT, HES GAWD OF Z0m3i4Z!!!!"

 

Personally I dislike Brooks

Permalink Reply by PRIME_Ω_PREDATOR on July 1, 2011 at 4:38pm

I understand where you're coming from. My thing is that people think Brooks is the be all end all because he wrote a couple books. It isn't so.

Brooks is the child of Mel Brooks and Anne Bankroft. Mell brooks ia an awesome comedian and Anne Bankroft a wonderful actress. Not to say he hasn't made his own way but his name and parents in the background has surely helped him. Max Brooks did a stint with Saturday Night Live and has written a couple books. Michael J. Strasynski is writing the screenplay for WWZ and Max Brooks admitted that he doesn't have the talent to do it himself. Brooks is no survivalist. When it comes to surviving a "Zpoc" you've got to be a survivalist first and add in the zeds. It is about surviving. You've got Police, Fire/EMT and Military on this site that will tell you about surviving. You've got those of us that take it seriously. It isn't about "Just writing a Zombie Novel." It is about a lifestyle. Even without the zombies. Brooks sips lattes and suns himself. I reload ammo, sell guns, train my horses and have been a police officer longer then many folks on the site have been alive. Other folks are in the military where anything can happen at any minute. You've got many EMTs and Firemen who also deal in life and death on a daily basis. And you have some actual survivalists who live the lifestyle now. Zombies is a fun way of preparing for the disasters that come our way like Hurricanes, Flooding, Earthquakes, Tornadoes and the possible complete and utter economic shutdown of society. We all like to have fun but we take certain things seriously. There are young adults on the site who are here to have fun too. Many of them like to learn and have learned from those who are experienced.

You've also got your Zombie fans. They come here to see what others are churning up in books and the gaming world and they teach us much about what we have decided to call our pastime.

Occasionally people end up getting schooled when they show they know nothing about a subject they interject themselves in to. I think Max Brooks might get schooled on a couple things if he were to show up some day.

Permalink Reply by Michael T. Douglas on July 1, 2011 at 5:25pm
Well, this is all from a fictitious standpoint. I read Brook's book and didn't see anything about surviving all conditions in an enviroment, only surviving a zombie apocalypse in the enviroment, nothing about surviving starvation, illness, etc.. Since a zombie apocalypse has never happened, from my knowledge, anything could happen. Zeds could come out walking on their heads and shooting fireballs from their ass. And yes, Brooks would probably die if the z-poc hits.

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