Share 'What Are You Gonna Do When The Toilet Paper Runs Out?'

I've been on my own for a month. The last person I ran into used my tp for bandages, then I killed him. Luckily, since food is scarce, I only go like once a week, which in itself is scarry. Yet I digress. Things I've found that don't work well, bricks, dirt and wallboard. I'm a little sceptical about using old soiled clothing as well. Any good ideas on a poo-poo paper substitute?