All Blog Posts Tagged 'tips' (7)

 So...we have alot on common, don't we? I mean if you're reading this...of course. Why, you ask? Because WE SURVIVED!! We were attacked by hordes of mindless flesh eating zombies when we least expected it, everyone we know and love is dead or going to die, and we are going to die. Religion is dead, money gone, marriage vows all gone...everything we once knew and lived for, gone. Yeah we have so much in common.…

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“The chains of war shall soon be broken, and the demons of hell will be released”.Zombie Survival Guide

Written By Aaron Elliott

Author’s notes:Congratulations on finding this guide.You will either find this to be useful, or just complete shit. Either way I don’t care; I’m still writing the damn thing.

WARNING!This guide has “adult language”, and other things parents for some reason care about.









Tip #1: An Apple a day keeps the zombies away.

Basically… Continue

Pockets: "Hey there! I'm Pockets, and this is my twin brother Patch!"

Patch: "I can introduce myself damn it."

Pockets: "Right, sorry. Anyways, we're here to give you a few tips for survival in a zombie apocalypse!"

Patch: "Yeah, you'd better listen to them, otherwise you'll just end up like Dead Fred, our studio's resident zombie."

Pockets: "Umm....Didn't you kill Fred?"

Patch: "Yeah. That's the point."

Pockets: "Oh.....Right…

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They call me RazorSharp. I work for a top secret company with a company with in the military of the Unitied States of America. Trust me I got lost the first time I was told the details too, however I've dummed it down alot and gave you the major points.

First I want to tell you this is not what I wanted to do and if you've ever been in an outbreak pray The Kleaners don't find you. You have two options if they do:…

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Important things -

I have stocked up well on high-protein and vitamin foods, painkillers, and energy supplements. My medical kits are full and sanitary, I've taken the necessary classes on medical care. My canned food and health supplement collection is...impressive. The only thing I lack is real equipment. I own no guns, and no heavy-duty weapons. I currently have a makeshift baseball bat. I plan to buy a real one; a high-density solid wooden baseball bat coated in aluminum.

I am not… Continue

Alright, I found my website! This is a great website, I plan to use it a lot. I'm going to slowly modify my zombie plan (which I thought was perfect), and come out with editions, eventually crafting the perfect personalized zombie plan. If anyone wants to give me some basic tips on what you read in my current zombie plan, please feel free to comment or email me.

We had or little family fourth of July shindig at my uncles house yesterday. It was nice to see the family... Well all four of them. It went pretty well except for a few minor disturbances which were dealt with accordingly. I was at the food table scooping up some delicious potato salad that was my grandmothers recipe, when all of a sudden an eyeball drops into the bowl. I looked up to see a snarling dead head rotting into the potato salad bowl. I became infuriated and smacked him in the face… Continue