Fading Away

Winter is approaching; the days grow short and cold. I feel the chills echoing through my bones, as my body weakens from hunger and stress the shivers get worse. This loneliness has really taken its toll on me, every time I close my eyes I see all the people I used to know, the faint memories of my friends and family being slowly erased from my mind, accompanied by my sanity. I keep hearing voices when I go through cities, children laughing and the buzzing of people on their commute to work. Am I imagining them or just remembering the past, history echoing through the empty streets, trying desperately not to be forgotten?

Yesterday I found a body, a young girl with a gun in one hand and a letter in the other. I knelt by her, feeling the faintness of heat dissipating from her body as she became no more. Though I did not know her I cried for hours. She was so young; never had the chance to do all the beautiful things life offered, to fall in love, graduate and get her first job, all future experiences robbed from her. To be taken by your hand is far worse than what any un-dead can do to you, your mind must be broken first, all hope removed leaving but an empty shell. Slowly raising the gun as you weigh up the worth of your life in the matter of a few seconds, every part of your history becomes meaningless, becoming nothing more than a bunch of pros and cons. You look directly into the barrel and know, you are nothing, so you pull the trigger and gain freedom.

I stared at the gun, wanting to lie beside her and follow in her footsteps, but knew that is not my destiny. As I dug a grave for her to rest in I thought about what I was missing, who I was missing. All the experiences, more time spent with my love, Remy, before death stole her from me. How I could have taken on the world with her by my side, killing zombies together and laughing about it later. Going to sleep in each other’s arms and walking up the same way. She would have given me strength to carry on, and a purpose to live. Now I am nothing, a flame for humanity slowly fading away into the darkness.