I'm still getting used to this idea of "killing". It's not really something that's in my nature. Now I realize that I'm probably speaking to a bunch of hard core zombie killers out there....but you've got to understand, I'm someone that used to avoid killing bugs. It's how I got the name "sAint Steen" (...that and a reference to a song). Taking a baseball bat to something that used to be human *shudder*...i'm working on it. I refuse to be the damsel in distress. At the very least, I will push myself to keep up. I WILL adapt. I WILL be strong >,< ...Give me time.
My big brother, Vileside, so kindly used to explain to me that killing zombies isn't really killing because they're already dead. That the infection keeps them moving...but they have no soul. I tell myself that if I were waking around without a soul, going after other people and causing mayhem I'd want someone to..."fix" me....but I'm still not sure I believe it.
*sigh* but this is no time to be sentimental.
Speaking of which, Vileside you need to get down here and teach me how to use some weapons. I'm not doing bad...but I could be doing better. They haven't gotten into the house...yet. But if they did...i'm honestly not sure how I'd hold up. I'm still kind of reluctant to use a gun, even if i did venture out of the house and manage to find one. I've never fired one before x,x.
...little help here bro? Some backup and shiny new weapons maybe?
For now I've got myself barricaded upstairs. Waiting for orders from the "higher chain of command". In other words, waiting for advice about what to do from someone I trust so I don't get myself killed-or worse- guessing. heh.
I need to get a hold of Mr. Indiana Sweezy and Lauren too. Things go better when you're in a group. Especially when there are people in your group that know how to use weapons...