Why Not A Zombie President?
I'm a candidate of Hope! A leader for a new tomorrow!
This country of ours is in crisis - and all the fear and hatred being spewed by the 'living' toward Undead Americans is far too divisive. We're all in this together. After all, the 'living' are but one bite or magic bullet away from becoming undead themselves...
Soon the heartbeat-free population will outnumber the "Pulsed Americans".
I propose:
ZOMBIE JOBS PROGRAM - helping the undead find a useful part in society as our garbage men, toll booth operators, and prison guards.
ZOMBIE HEALTHCARE - Affixing prosthetics those who've lost arms, legs or other parts to Zombie Hate Crimes
ZOMBIE HOUSING PROGRAM - As Zombies don't mind weather and have no issues with crowding - in most cases simple chain link fencing is enough to give the Zombie Community a sense of place.
So put down your shotguns, shovels, baseball bats, axes, and random pieces of lumber. Let us embrace Undead Americans - By setting up the programs they need to survive we can all 'live' together.
- ZOMBIE JFK FOR PRESIDENT!
Endorsed by AARG (Association of Americans Returned from the Grave) ZombiePresidents.com
This country of ours is in crisis - and all the fear and hatred being spewed by the 'living' toward Undead Americans is far too divisive. We're all in this together. After all, the 'living' are but one bite or magic bullet away from becoming undead themselves...
Soon the heartbeat-free population will outnumber the "Pulsed Americans".
I propose:
ZOMBIE JOBS PROGRAM - helping the undead find a useful part in society as our garbage men, toll booth operators, and prison guards.
ZOMBIE HEALTHCARE - Affixing prosthetics those who've lost arms, legs or other parts to Zombie Hate Crimes
ZOMBIE HOUSING PROGRAM - As Zombies don't mind weather and have no issues with crowding - in most cases simple chain link fencing is enough to give the Zombie Community a sense of place.
So put down your shotguns, shovels, baseball bats, axes, and random pieces of lumber. Let us embrace Undead Americans - By setting up the programs they need to survive we can all 'live' together.
- ZOMBIE JFK FOR PRESIDENT!
Endorsed by AARG (Association of Americans Returned from the Grave) ZombiePresidents.com
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