I think of writing what has happened and what is still happening but everytime I get to this page, my mind goes blank.
So many scenerio's used to go through my head about what I'd be doing before during and after my bout with this dreadful epedimic. So much laughter and jokes flowed out of my mouth like a piss drunk preadolecent vomiting from too much gin. But I wasn't ready for what was in store for me.
The truth is you're never ready. Not even after it's been a couple weeks and you drench your entire being with every sedative you could possibly get your hands on... Not even after you've split, ripped and smashed open the craniums of all your neighbors and even some of your so called friends. Not even after you possibly have every type of human innards and excretions all over you... bowel juice caked on your clothes.... stomach acid burned onto your shoes. The gelatin substance that surrounds a brain splooging onto your face like some cheap 1970's amature porn.
...Especially not after that.
Anyway, I digress. They say the best place to start is at the beginning. But no one knows when the actual beginning started. So here's my story. This is what I remember that first day... I hope you're ready for this...
The day I was effected but not infected was, 08-08-08. I only remember the date because of it's monotony.The first moment that I realized something in my neighborhood it was early in the evening and I had just been picked up by my friend, Anthony. We had some weed smoking to get to, so I got right to breaking the pott down and prepairing the blunt rolling proccess as soon as I got in his car. When I had finished preping our good time, I rolled down the window while we were stopped at a light and brushed all the blunt guts and seeds out.
I see this orange-ish red flash out of the corner of my eye so I look twards the car behind the car next to us. I watched the man in the backseat with great awe.... projectile vomiting this gross orange shit all over the side windows, the seat. The two older women in the front we're in shambles. The driver was shaking and tears were coming down her face while the one next to her turned around in her seat to , I'm guessing, comfort the puker. Right as we were driving away, I seen the passangers hair fly back and that godawful looking substance spew on her and the windshield.
"That man back there, in that silver car..... I think he has SARS or MRSA or something." I say in a flat voice, still turned to the window, waiting for the car to catch up. "Angel, you're so funny." Tony scoffed."Are you going to light that blunt anytime soon?" I wrote off the man and lit the damn thing.
We weren't gone for too long, usually our smoke route in the country lasts for hours but Tony had to be home early or his mom would lock him out. I snarled a little while he made the way back to my shitty, ghetto apartment complex. He pulled in front of my building and shut off his headlights,"So, I'll see you around...take it easy." he drifted his words like he often did when he was stoned. I smiled and gave him a pat hug, "If it's easy, I'll take it twice..." I say flashing him my money hustler smile. He shook his head and chuckled a bit, then gave me a "wob".
...For those of you who aren't stoney dorks, A wob is a hybrid of the "rock and roll" hand sign and a "dap". To "wob" someone successful is to turn the "rock and roll" hand side ways as the other person you're wobbing just has it straight out in front, and you bump your two middle fingers that are folded down with their two middle fingers... just a little schooling for you. I know this isn't relevent.
Back to the story. After the wob I opened the car door and started for my building. Tony rolled down his window and shouts," You're really going to leave me with that pat hug?!" I roll my eyes as I'm turning around but he doesn't notice. "..Well get the shit out of your car and come give me a real hug then..." I sigh.
He's explaining as he gets out, how much he hates my pat hugs, "I know they're your fake ones."
We meet each other half way and I gave him a huge smooshy bear hug. We smiled at each other as I backed away and then he got this white ghost look on his face.
"Don't turn around, Angel." I laughed and kicked him playfully on his shin. "Don't fuck with me, Tony."
He was shaking. Sweat was dripping. He's not a good enough actor for all this so I started to turn my head. As I was looking back, I felt his clamy hand grab my arm and yank me twards his vehicle with a force I never knew Tony had. He was screaming in yiddish, or might as well been. I couldn't understand a motherfucking word the guy was saying.
And then I noticed why Tony had shit himself. I understood and shortly followed him with the shitting of the pants.
To the left of me, my neighbor Teddi, was finishing off the torso of one of his friends. The fucking sound of him suckling on a piece of liver or pancreas or whatever the hell it was, was and still is mind numbing. To the right of me, a group of people of maybe five, were trudging their way twards us. I noticed that one was slightly burned, he was still smoldering. And anothers' eye was bulging out in a fashion that wasn't at all natural. There were a couple more people standing around. All of them weezing.... or maybe more like gurggling. The closer they got, the more details I could see... and smell. I'm not going to explain the smell. It's unexplainable.
This is when things start to speed in my mind.
I was trying to go one way, to my fucking apartment while Tony was trying to pull me another, to his fucking car. He's still screaming and more and more of those stink faced fucks are coming around the corner.
So I try to coax him, "Tony, I have to get Alex. I love him, I cannot leave him here." Or something along those words. Throw in some profanity for good measure.
But he's not listening. He's paniced. He's still yanking my arm. It's coming to the point where either he's going to pop it out of socket or literally rip it off me. All the while these people are getting closer to us. I can see now that some of them are actually drooling...
I am now realizing that I have, for all these years, underestimated Tony's strength. I go limp. My fat ass fell hard onto that cement. I lay down and make my body relaxed as I possibly could. But even at dead weight, Tony is still pulling me along slowly, still yelling in yiddish. My skin burned and tore on the asphalt as he struggled to pull me to his car.
The people are almost at the end of building 5 now. Tears are running down my face now as I roll to one side grabbing at the curb, twisiting the other way and clawing at the pavement.
...I had to do something drastic and I had to do it fast....
I look up at the night sky, at the red tint is has that's caused by city lights. I close my eyes and I scream as forceful and as blood curdling as I could. I even seen static as I opened my eyes. The scream was intended to get my boyfriend who's upstairs attention. It didn't work but made something in Tony snap out of it for a split second and loosen his grip on me. I yanked my arm from him as hard and as fast as I could, jumped up and started truckin' it to my building door. I could hear his foot steps landing hard as he tried to catch up with me so I turned and dodged his grab. This caused me to trip over the small stairs that lead up to the door and I landed in the grass. Not even a nanosecond later, Tony is ontop of me, sweat, tears, snot and all. He's giving me this menacing look that I have only been blessed meeting on two other occasions. I look up and there's a decent sized rock.
I think this is when I got the fear.
I then proceed to kick the living shit out of his crotch and scurry my way over to the rock. It hurt him, he's bent over and grabbing at his nutsack. But he should of went down with that kind of blow. I blame him not curling into a little ball on the ground on adrenaline. So here I am, gasping for air, scratched up from the cement burns and my whole arm swoll and pulsing. I look over, the hungries are at the cars.
"Anthony Dallas! SNAP OUT OF IT! Get up the fucking sta-" I almost get it all out before he charged for me. ..... I had no other choice but to use brute force. I raised that god damn rock with such conviction and looked him dead set in his eyes. He snatched my arm. And I came down on the left side of the top of his head.
Before he hit the ground I seen his eyes dialate.
"Oh. Shit. Fuck!" I mummered as the rock fell from my grasp. My stomach is being pierced by something in my jacket, I scramble to pull my camera out, the LCD screen now broken. Fuckin o, you got to beleive me, I swear I didn't mean to take that picture. It just...happened.
....I dodged those hungry fuckers outside by the hair on my ass.
As soon as I got inside I was immediatly attacked by the sweet old man who lives on the second floor. I didn't even see him coming.... just that ungodly smell. He had me pinned down on the stairwell. I was so stunned I couldn't even whisper. I closed my eyes tight as this old bastard grabbed and grunted and gummed me almost half to death. I didn't realize at first that he didn't have teeth. It felt like he was taking chunks out of my face, shoulder, cheeks and upper arms. The blood I felt coming out of me was actually all this octagenarians' drool. I realized it when I opened my eyes that he had no teeth. I jab my finger into his eye socket. He hisses and tries to gum me some more. I struggled with him a bit but got loose and bolted up the stairs.
Alex was staring out the balcony window when I walked it.....
I lock the door, grab Aubrey's louisville slugger and then walk back out. The old man was gone.
The next 6 and half hours was spent like this:
...Cry. Knock on the door of my neighbors. Listen. Open the door. Cry. Swing that fucking bat like your god damned Babe Ruth, making contact with the head. Cuss. Raid the place for booze, cigarettes, prescriptions, medical supplies.Cry. Struggle with huge heavy furniture like beds and dressers. Cry and cuss.Wedge the shit against the two doors down stairs so I wont have to hoist my fat ass over my balcony if I ever decide to leave my place ever again.
And when I go back upstairs, Alex is staring out the balcony window....
"What the shitfuck are you doin?! Did you hear my screams? Are you fucking enjoying that view?"
He didn't even make an attempt to look at me as he walked into our room and got online. He just muttered like he usually does.
Times like these.... girls need to self medicate. And that's what I did. My ...ex....neighbor, Teddi, downstairs had a tin full of xanax and rum. I thought to myself, "what's the fucking point, it's better than being eaten alive, even gummed alive." So I grab a handful, grab the rum, swallow.
It felt like hours had past but xanies have that effect on some people. I turn off all my lights and walk out onto the balcony. This is when I see Tony's body. This is when I realized that I'm as much of a threat as those people. This is when I began to scream. This was my first day. This was my last day conscious for almost a week.
And this is where I stop writing.... for now.