Little Things Like Tears
I used to be sick, had this really bad phobia for a long time that almost consumed me. I dropped out of college halfway through my junior year and went back to living with my mom. She couldn't handle it though, me waking up in the middle of the night screaming my head off or sleepwalking out the house. She sent me to some doctors who committed me. I wasn't crazy, I was just scared. It didn't take too long for me to figure out how I had to act to get out, it just took quite a bit of control on my part, and a lot of lying still pretending to sleep. I left St.Francis in March 2006 and when I got home I prepared for my destiny. It's funny to think it took this apocalypse to realize the meaning of my life. I used to think I was just slowly going crazy, too much television or something. All those doctors, my friends and mother, they couldn't handle me and I think it's absolutely hilarious that after all was said and done, I survived and they didn't.
I will tear this town down and apart until every single zombie within is demised. It took me a few weeks to decide on this, but I think fire will most accurately present the fastest form of destruction and cleanup. Once martial law was declared there wasn't much left in buildings, at least nothing of use to me. Sweeping through the buildings was terrifying, but I only ran into five zombies. I have placed signs on all the entrances warning any survivors of the detonation, and now all that remains is the act.
The Old South Church and Capital Community College will be first along with the Wadsworth Atheneum and the Gold building, they block off both ends of Main Street. The succeeding detonations are only about two seconds apart after that, I'm hoping it's not enough time for Runners. In any case the ice cream truck helps lure in any strays. It took me almost a week to figure out how to remote set up the speakers on the damn thing.
I was destined for this, I know that now. Somehow I never pictured it being this way. I wonder why it couldn't have waited, just for a little bit, until I'd gotten married, had kids, gotten a little bit older. Those little things that seem so small, like going to the mall with friends, dinner with your family, everyday things I took for granted I would now do anything to have back. Watching everything I've ever known go up in blasts of smoke and fire, the summer melody drifting through the sky as the ice cream truck explodes into shreds of metal, realizing it's Christmas day.
Of all the little things I miss my tears. I haven't cried since I lost my group, and what use would crying be to me now?