God is Dead

God. is God dead? I ask myself this question everyday. Everyday when I walk past the bodies of innocent children lying broken and bloody on the cold pavement. Everyday when I walk past abandoned  homes that were once used for shelter that now house blood and eternal screams. Everyday when I have to put a bullet through someone's skull. Everyday when I have to look over my shoulder every five damn minutes to make sure one of those things isn't following me. Everyday when I have to run for my life when one of the runners catches me off guard. Everyday when I look at the half-ripped photo of my wife who was taken from me. Everyday when I think about how I could of saved her. Everyday when I remember the time I came home from the bar and found her body torn limb from limb on the kitchen floor the first night of the "Outbreak". Everyday when I put this 9mm to my head and pull the trigger only to hear the sound of an empty chamber because I'm to afraid of what death has to offer. I know the answer to my question. I just don't want to believe it.