Entry #3

There’s this unsatisfying feeling in my tummy that I can’t shake. It has been like this for days and I’m just hoping it will leave any day now. Maybe my gut is just preparing for what bad is to happen next or maybe I’m just homesick.

I miss the old life were people actually didn’t eat other people for their twelve meal course. I am not mentally prepared for this, let along do I want to be. I thought the limitless freedom would have outweighed being consistently cautious and on board, among many other things – but there’s more bad times than there are good.

There’s no laws or order only destruction and irrational last second instinctive thoughts. And the best part of all of this is in the end we’re all doomed to loneliness – whether that means we’re the last one standing or six feet under. There’s not enough ammo or sharpened blades to kill those bastards and their numbers keep rising more and more every day.

Hopeless is what I’m feeling. This situation is way out of my hands and being in control has always been my thing. There’s no way to manipulate this situation to my own favor. To each and every man his own.
 
Good fucking luck.

-Dawn