I was doing my usual run around the country so to speak and I was going through an old town I know it was called manteno it's in Illinois a small little town no one really cares about but just big enough to be known. I was drivin through and I had to see her one last time the one woman I ever loved but I was to late to save her name was alaynna. She was the only one I could not shoot no matter how hard I wanted to pull the trigger I couldn't do it so I ran as fast as I can and been living ever since so to speak but I had to see her I got out of my truck to go and find her and sure enough I did but in a strange place in her own home in her old room rubbing at an painting I drew for her on her wall I don't know what to think of it do the dead retain some of their memory when they turn as I came fully into the room she turned and looked at me and stop and paused I didn't know what to think but I did what anybody else would do put her out of her misery. But as I raised the gun she didn't attack me she walked straight to the gun and stood there like she wanted me to do it like she wanted me to end it so I did I pulled the trigger and she dropped to the floor with a thud and just as I was about to leave I saw in her hand something shiny and sliver and I opened her hand and to find the necklace I gave her on our one year anniversey. The necklace used to be my grandfather's he wore it for good luck. I gave it to her to symbolize that I would always be there for her but evidently I failed. I layer her on her bed arms crossed and covered her up and left and I'm wearing the necklace now and I will forever wear it. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this putting down loved ones and friends it's to the point I might just go.......insane.