I’m not sure how much longer I can stand this. Every day it’s the same thing day in and day out, funny thing is I used to bitch about my life
before all this how it was the same thing every day. God what I wouldn’t give
to go back to that life. Now this is my life killing everyday just to stay
alive. Every one used to talk about how the world would get back to normal
eventually. Like that’s ever going to happen. I used to be hopeful like that,
but who gives a damn anymore. I haven’t heard anyone talk like that in a while.
Why? Because they are all DEAD every one of them I’m the last. I’m not even
sure this will ever reach anyone. Hell I’m not even sure there is anyone else.
I don’t even know how long it’s been since I have seen another person, the days
have all started to blur together. It’s funny when I was stuck with everyone I used
to always want to be alone, now that I’m alone I would do almost anything just
for someone to talk to. The isolation has started to play tricks on me I have
trouble sleeping thinking zed is gunna bust through the door, or hearing noises
thinking he already has. Sometimes I hear voices of people that I used to know
or people that I’ve killed. Sometimes I wish zack would come in here and tear
me to pieces, just so I wouldn’t have to put up with this place anymore. I cry
almost every night, not over those I have lost, but because I just can’t stand
this place anymore. I found a stash of whiskey a few days ago; I don’t think I have
spent more than a few minutes sober since then. I was always an odd drunk. I
have spent most of those days trying to kill as many of those things as I could
I’ve got plenty of ammo just nowhere to go. I figure I might as well try and
leave this place either it will all be over and I’ll be dead, or I’ll find a
new place to hold up were I don’t have to see my dead friends outside trying to
claw their way back inside to get to me.
I doubt anyone will ever find this, but if by chance someone does don’t
live with the hope of recreating the old world, only live with the hope of
creating a new one.
Good luck and stay frosty.