These Fucking Zombies!

These Fucking Zombies!
I'm fed up with them!
They ate my grandmother.
They ate my mom.
They even got in and ate my cats, the bastards!
But they didn't get me.
Nope.
Had a surprise waiting for them.
My dad left this chainsaw thing on a pole when he left us. To cut high branches on trees. He wouldn't be needing it any more at that condo of his.
Gave you a big long reach, once you duct-taped the thing over the top of your arm, over your sleeve.
A long reach!
Worked wonders, too.
Kind of like a salad shooter, but for zombies.
Big plus? You taped it to the back of your hand so you could still use all your fingers if you needed them.
Surprise # 2 for those fuckers?
Hah!
I had a railroad spike duct-taped to my left hand, just in case.
My dad always said you could fix about anything with duct tape, and damn if he wasn't right!