To my loving boyfriend

Dear Scott,

It's been a hard ride ever since we both came out. From trying to be accepted by our friends, then our parents, and finally with ourselves. The months dating you have been the best I've ever had, and I couldn't be any happier to have been your boyfriend. I didn't mean to do this to you, to let this happen to you, we were safe. I was your little man, I looked up to you, you took care of me. I promised myself to protect you. I kept saying we were immune, and this would go away. But it didn't, and we weren't. I was there for you when your family had changed, and you had been there for me when I had to kill my own twin brother. He was just bit and he lunged at me, I didn't even have time to ask him to stop. Just please stop, it's me Joey, don't hurt me.

I felt safe with you inside the walmart. We had enough food, and the grills and microwaves to cook them. We had all the weapons, sharp and blunt, to fight off whatever came in. Who knew the whole place would be empty, right? But it wasn't, it wasn't. 

I didn't mean for you to get hurt, nor infected. It was just a scratch, just one scratch from that woman's ring finger. I know what you were doing, trying to get the wedding band off of her. You wanted to give it to me. We couldn't get married being g**, but at times like this you tried to give me everything, tried to make me happy, try to be mine. But she was one of them, and got you. I should've gone with you when you said you wanted to check something, even though you told me to sleep. I heard the screams from her and my heart sunk. I ran. I ran. Damn why did you have to get the ring? Why couldn't you just go to the jewelry department. You got her though, bashed her head in. 

I tried to take care of you, and kept telling you you'd be fine. But everyday I cried. I cried knowing you weren't, and I didn't want you to worry. Didn't want to put pressure on me. I stayed by you every night. Remember the night I lit candles around us, and held you close, with that Meditating sounds CD playing? That was my favorite night, the last night I could hold the man I loved, and remember all the times I had with you before this fucking infection. 

I sobbed when I had to give you the sleeping pills behind you, and tied you down. I couldn't see straight I cried so hard. I love you scott, I love you so much. I couldn't stand seeing you change. I ran, and ran to the other side of the store. I screamed every time I heard you roar, or moan. It hurt me. I'm sorry I had to do it. I'm sorry I had to take you out of your misery. I just couldn't see the pain in your eyes, I couldn't imagine you trying to eat me. I prayed to your family that night, saying I was sorry.

I love you so much Scott, and hope you're happy up there with them.

Joining you soon, your love-

John