To Whom It May Concern...
God is dead
I'm scared
I'm sorry
If you're reading this you are a survivor, for now. From what you have seen in this house, you are either totally shocked or it is already second nature. From the sounds you hear in the basement, you have either taken care of it or you are cautious. After this letter, you will either pass judgement or you will empathize. If you pass judgement, the only thing I have to say is fuck you. You didn't see what I saw. If you empathize, there are no words I can say to comfort you.
I am not a religious man. I never went to church. I never prayed to a God. I believe in a life after this place, but I don't give it a name. It scares me to think how we all started on this planet and it shakes me to the core to think how THIS all started.
Is THIS Man's doing? Are we so blood thirsty at our core that we developed something to kill us all in the name of money or religion or power?
Is THIS God's doing? Did enough of us not believe and You brought this upon us to show us Your will?
If I was a God fearing man, I would have had my faith pushed to the brink, wondering why you took my 9 year old daughter and turned her into one of those things. I would either be such a blind follower that I would sit and pray and know that salvation lies with you and that you have a plan and that I am merely a pawn in your game of chess. Or I would question you and say that you wouldn't do this, that you couldn't watch your creation destroy itself, that the other side has somehow won and the gates of Hell have opened.
But as I said earlier, I am not a religious man and I never went to church and I sure as hell never prayed to God. What I did do was lead a good life. I provided for her, I loved her, I protected her. I taught her right and wrong, I showed her how to lead a good life, I showed her how to be a good person. She showed me unquestionable love.
The truth of the matter is, There is no God. There is no Deux Ex Machina. There is no superhero. This is not a nightmare. The bullets left in your gun, the water left in your bottle, the food left in your sack, that is it. We are Man. We are on our own.
I am now on my own. The only thing I love, turned before my eyes, an accident, a moment of carelessness. The fault lies with me, next to my broken heart, next to the mountain of guilt. I have left this place to go wherever the next journey begins. I hope I see you there. I hope you forgive me for my carelessness. I hope you forgive me for not doing what I should have done. I cannot shoot you. I hear you moan, growl, purely instincts, fighting to get to me, to feed your hunger. And as I raise my gun, I see your eyes, I see your dimples and I see you at 2 years old, telling me you love me for the first time. I can't. I'm sorry. I love you too much to shoot you but I love you too much to set you free.
I am a Man, I am a Father, I am a Coward, I am Waiting For You.
I Love You
I'm scared
I'm sorry
If you're reading this you are a survivor, for now. From what you have seen in this house, you are either totally shocked or it is already second nature. From the sounds you hear in the basement, you have either taken care of it or you are cautious. After this letter, you will either pass judgement or you will empathize. If you pass judgement, the only thing I have to say is fuck you. You didn't see what I saw. If you empathize, there are no words I can say to comfort you.
I am not a religious man. I never went to church. I never prayed to a God. I believe in a life after this place, but I don't give it a name. It scares me to think how we all started on this planet and it shakes me to the core to think how THIS all started.
Is THIS Man's doing? Are we so blood thirsty at our core that we developed something to kill us all in the name of money or religion or power?
Is THIS God's doing? Did enough of us not believe and You brought this upon us to show us Your will?
If I was a God fearing man, I would have had my faith pushed to the brink, wondering why you took my 9 year old daughter and turned her into one of those things. I would either be such a blind follower that I would sit and pray and know that salvation lies with you and that you have a plan and that I am merely a pawn in your game of chess. Or I would question you and say that you wouldn't do this, that you couldn't watch your creation destroy itself, that the other side has somehow won and the gates of Hell have opened.
But as I said earlier, I am not a religious man and I never went to church and I sure as hell never prayed to God. What I did do was lead a good life. I provided for her, I loved her, I protected her. I taught her right and wrong, I showed her how to lead a good life, I showed her how to be a good person. She showed me unquestionable love.
The truth of the matter is, There is no God. There is no Deux Ex Machina. There is no superhero. This is not a nightmare. The bullets left in your gun, the water left in your bottle, the food left in your sack, that is it. We are Man. We are on our own.
I am now on my own. The only thing I love, turned before my eyes, an accident, a moment of carelessness. The fault lies with me, next to my broken heart, next to the mountain of guilt. I have left this place to go wherever the next journey begins. I hope I see you there. I hope you forgive me for my carelessness. I hope you forgive me for not doing what I should have done. I cannot shoot you. I hear you moan, growl, purely instincts, fighting to get to me, to feed your hunger. And as I raise my gun, I see your eyes, I see your dimples and I see you at 2 years old, telling me you love me for the first time. I can't. I'm sorry. I love you too much to shoot you but I love you too much to set you free.
I am a Man, I am a Father, I am a Coward, I am Waiting For You.
I Love You
Comment
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Comment by Twilights Child on January 5, 2012 at 6:03pm -
I feel your pain. Thankfully, I am childless. I say thankfully bec I don't think I could function after loosing a child through something so gruesome such as that. I lost my father. They didn't turn him, instead they fed off of him until there was nothing but his skeletal remains. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only survivor left. Seeing that this post was made in May, I can only hope that the zombies didn't get to you. If there is any form of life after death, there is the grim possibility that this is it. I can't help but feel negative about the future when the present is full of apocolyptic distruction.
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Comment by Crazy Assassin on November 25, 2011 at 6:09pm
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I myself have two children that I have to struggle to protect I dont even want to imagine how this would feel and yet I feel your pain....
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Comment by Katie on November 25, 2011 at 3:39pm
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Kudos man.. goosebumps
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Comment by R. Mark Womack on November 9, 2011 at 5:07pm -
Thank you for this great work, it really moved me, what a talent.
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Comment by Alex Nichols on October 18, 2011 at 8:17pm -
Wow..... There are no words!
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Comment by samamuel Ibn'La-Ahad on September 27, 2011 at 7:22pm -
wow...
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Comment by Thomas <Disasterpiece> on August 2, 2011 at 10:48am -
as a father myself, this hit close to home. dont blame you though for not doing what needs to be done. cant say i could do it myself. good writing tho. looking forward to anything else written.
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Comment by spwnzr on August 1, 2011 at 1:22pm
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wow ... dang.... this has put alot of things into perspective not in cumbiya lets go hippy way you put a alot of emotion into it i feel like i just walked into your house heard your daughter, read your note and now weather which option would be the morally and responsible thing to do. great job man you got talent. i am a passionate believer in the "dead end"(zpoc) and i am scared that i may one day come across this scenorio
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Comment by William M. on July 10, 2011 at 12:43am -
as a father of two boys, I've secretly feared this scenario. Efficiently stylish writing. shook me to my core. Bless you...and F**K you... Really great art creates conflict within the viewer. I love this story so much, and I hate what it has done to me. Please keep writing.
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Comment by jayson atwood on July 1, 2011 at 6:37am
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simply breath taking
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