Z Day 3- Going To Janesville

I wake up with a start, jumping off the love seat and looking around. I am covered in sweat and semi-hungover. Its dawn, I can see the ski just starting to brighten through the picture window. I was dreaming about the guy I chopped up, the girl I shot in the face, and the boy I put in a coma when I was 12. I dreamed I was late getting to the Jessies and I found them as zombies. Jessica attacked and killed me. I dreamed I didnt kill the girl and she bit me. Then I attacked and killed the Jessies and Jim. I dreamed that the boy I put in the coma was the first zombie and this outbreak was all my fault. If I wasnt in the gang and hit him over the head with a baseball bat, this would never of happened.

After I get my bearings, I notice Lexi is gently weeping.

" Are you...", no shes not alright, stupid question. " Can I get you anything? I could use a soda. "

Crying women make my heart ache, mabey its just my sence of chivalry. I want to help them however I can.

" Do you (sniffle) have any diet? "

" Sure." I go to the fridge and grab a Dr Pepper for me and a Diet Coke for her.

" I am crying for my baby. Im not crying for my husband, I was going to see a lawyer about divorcing him. He did this to me. "

She takes off her sweater. There are bruises on her arms. She lifts her shirt. There are more bruises on her belly and sides. This pisses me off, I hate men who beat women.

" He did these 3 days ago. Its not the first time. When he gets drunk and angry he would hit me. He was mad this time because some drunk guy from Bucks bit him. Hes an ER doctor that works the night shift. The drunk guy evidently bit off a womans boob. They tried to sedate him at the hospital but he was out of control. I guess he was one of these... zombies. When I met him at UW Madison he was finishing Med school. I was a freshmen and a doctor was interested in me. He was so nice and charming. It was like a fairy tale. The first few years of our marraige were perfect. Then he started to get jealous and possessive. He wouldnt let me go out for drinks with the girls. He wouldnt let me see friends unless they came over. Even then he was really rude to them until they stopped coming. He tried to make me quit my job because I should stay home with the kids. I was only working part time and it was my only social contact. After Rose was born he said I was fat and ugly. I worked out and lost weight but he wasnt happy. He started drinking alot. If Rose threw up and stained the carpet he would get upset and hit me. If I accidently broke a dish he would hit me. If I was 5 minutes late from work, he would say I was cheating on him and hit me. One night he got drunk and practically raped me. It was the first time he showed any sexual intrest in me in 4 years. Thats how I got prenant with Sally, my poor baby. He was upset because she wasnt a he. He would hit me whenever she cried too much. It was my fault he didnt have a son and she was fussy. About a month ago I tried to do something nice for him. I went out and bought some sexy underwear. I bought some wine and candles. I came home early from work and found him fucking a nurse. They saw me and just started laughing. I was crying in the living room when she left. I had no where to go. She was laughing at me and saying stuff about how she fucked my husband. When he came out he had drunk half the wine and was angry because I cought him. He broke my nose that time. I should of known he was cheating on me but I didnt want to admit it. I wanted to think he would change and things would go back to the way they were in the begining........ Im sorry I dont know why Im telling you this."

" You told me because you needed to tell someone. I was here. "

" I guess, thanks for listening.....I feel better. "

" Momma Im hungry. Can I watch cartoons? " Rose comes in yawning and rubbing her eyes. The dogs are following her wagging their tails.

Lexi looks at me, " Is that alright? "

" Of course. " I turn on the satellite and TV. I start flipping through the channels. " Sponge Bob alright. " My mom and Jim walk in. " Momma Im hungry, can I watch cartoons? " I say with a giggle.

" Alright but only if you play nice with the other boys and girls. " My mom responds. " I am going to cook French toast with bacon and sausage. How are you this morning Alexandria? "

" Alright, I was just talking to your son. Hes a good listener. "

I go downstairs to get the dogs food. I decide to let the Jessies sleep, they look very peaceful. I go back upstairs, the dogs are waiting for me. I put down Dawgs food and Brutus follows me to the couch. " We have to feed him slow or he'll throw up. " I tell Lexi. " You wanna feed him? " I ask Rose. She nods her head and I show her how to hold out a few pieces at a time. " Careful or he'll bite your fingers. " I warn her.

I sit there and watch Rose feed Brutus. She giggles and says, " It tickles. "

" My husband was allergic to small animals so Rose has never really been around pets. Im glad shes haveing fun with them. "

After a few minutes the foods gone and I go put the dish away. Brutus tackles Rose and begins to lick her face. She squeals in delight. I smile at Lexi and she smiles back.

A short while later, " Foods done, gotta serve yourself, I aint your slave. "

I take Lexis hand, " Come on, I dont know how much you two would eat or Id serve you. You want some milk? All we got is 2%. "

" Thats fine. " she says. I show her where the plates, glasses and silverware are. While everyones helping themselves I open 3 bottles and take out 3 pills. As Im sitting down with Lexi and Rose at the coffee table again Lexi notices the pills and asks, " Whats are those? "

" This ones a multi-vitamin. " I swollow it. " This is an antidepressant. " I swollow it. " And this is an antipsychotic. " I swollow it.

" Antipsychotic? " She looks kind of worried.

" Dont worry, Im not psycho psychotic. I have a disorder where I hear things. Its not voices, its usually mumblings. Its like sitting in a crowded restaurant and hearing a dozen conversations going on at once. Somtimes I hear bells or alarms going off. Sometimes I think its the phone and pick it up. That gets kind of annoying. The worst is when I hear the screams. Its like Im in hell and all I can hear is a billion voices screaming because their being tortured. It rises and falls like waves on a beach but always gets a little louder. It gets so overbearing that I want to cry or join in. The pills dont stop it but they make it less frequent, severe, and easier to handle. When I do hear things I tend to slip into my own little world. Its nicer there, the real world tends to depress me. "

" Oh...Im sorry. Ive never heard of anything like that. It sounds terrible. "

" Few people have because its alot less common than hearing voices. Ive always had it but it got alot worse a few years ago. "

We finish breakfast in silence except for singing to the Spong Bob Squarepants theme. I collect the dishes, take them to sink to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. The Jessies and Matt and Sarah all come in at about the same time. " Theres food getting cold. " I tell them.

My mom picks up the phone and makes a call. " No one answered. I want you to go to Janesville and get your brother. I should of had you do it yesterday. "

" Well Jim, we gotta take your truck. Judgeing from Monroe yesterday, Janesville is gonna be alot worse. You sure you want us to go mom? "

" Yes. I have to know my babys safe. He was fine when I called him yesterday. "

I sigh, " O.K. You want to go on a road trip, Jessies? "

" Yes! " Jessica says way to quick, " I wanna shoot more zombies in the head. " Something about her eagerness and the way she said that worries me.

" Psycho. ", mummbles Jesse, then louder, " I guess someone sane should go on this crazy adventure. "

" I want to come too. " Thats Matt. " I cant let you go shooting things without me. "

" Fine lets get our things. "

We all go grab our gear and assemble back in the living room.

" Be careful. " Mom tells me and Jim, kissing us both on the cheek.

Matt says good bye to Sarah and wispers something in her ear. They kiss.

Lexi gives me a hug. " Come back safe, I want to talk to you some more. "

" Dont worry, we should only be gone about 4 hours, mabey 6 at the most. " I tell her. " I want to talk to you some more too. "

We leave and get in the truck. Jim drives, Matt rides shotgun, me and the Jessies get in the back. Jim decides to take the highway most of the way there. Its uneventful until we get to Monroe. Just a few accidents to go around. The strip where it widens to a freeway around Monroe is bad. There are alot of accidents and we drive on the median for a while. Some zombies try to follow us but are quickly left behind. We take some practice shots each killing one. Between Monroe and Broadhead the road was surprisingly clear. There was a cop car blocking the way into Broadhead but noone around. We heard some gun shots but only saw a few zombies. There were a few more accidents to go around on the way to Orfordville and a few zombies wandering the highway to shoot at. The main intersection at Orfordville was a mess. It looked like people just plowed into an existing accident. There was about 25 zombies milling about and we had to shoot our way through. At one point they were cilmbing the sides of the truck and we had to use our pistols. After Orfordville its a short strech to Janesville.

Jessica lights up a joint, " We might as well get high. Janesville is only about 15 minutes away and things are gonna get interesting. "

Jesse didnt want any so Jessica and I huddle against the cab to get out of the wind. I couldnt let her smoke alone, I guess I might be an addict. We take our time and finish about the time we reached the outskirts of Janesville. Theres a biker bar with loud music playing and at least 50 bikes around it.

" Thats asking for trouble. " I comment.