Zombies in Cumbria part 6 Auto-Me is a Numpty

I reckon this will be a short one. No matter how hard you try, you will never get me to write more on this. I say that but, knowing me, I'll write a bloody essay.

   As I said, I rolled off the branch I was sat on in my sleep and found myself hanging upsidedown a few feet above at least a dozen zombies. I held my breath and watched them, and another weird thought popped into my head, how did they all find us? (I was already thingking of the Scary Ones and me as "we"), was it the smell? At this point the sarcastic me kicked in, Yeah, because zombies really like root vegetables. If you've read my previous blogs, you'll understand, but I have the feeling that no one does. So I hung there for several minutes, watching them, and I noticed that they really did know we were there, they didn't just come and go, they walked around where we were, trying to find us. I reckon they could smell not-dead-things in the area, but because they were too stupid to look up, they didn't realise we were in the trees. I remember thinking, God, I hope I don't sneeze now. That would have been a bit cliché, and an unfortunate way to go.

   I had left my cricket bat in the tree, because I didn't want to drop it in my sleep, but that just left me dangling unarmed and vulnerable from a tree a few feet above a zombie army's heads, which is not a good position to be in.

   "Tawit!....Tawit!" I said in a loud whisper. I was hoping to get his attention without alerting the zombies, I was sure that in the zombies heard somthing they would look up and see me, but it was no use because everyone who knew him knows that waking him was like waking the dead... or, well, uh, a little harder in fact... "Tawit! Damn you, why must you sleep so deeply?!" I was starting to get realy scared, really scared and sort of... panicky? I really couldn't think of anything to do so my brain shifted into autopilot, I knew what I was doing and seing, but I was powerless to do anything about it, like I was watching a film or something. This may sound like making excuses for my next move, but... well, that's what I'm doing. As I said, auto-me noticed there was a rock (I say rock, but I actually mean stone) stuck in the tree between two branches and auto-me thought, Well then, I'm not completely unarmed after all! Of course, I was, but as I said, auto-me isn't best bright, thinking things through just isn't her thing. So, anyways, after noticing this rock auto-me started swinging so that I could reach it. It took a few swings, and I nearly dropped it at one point (I sort of wish I had... more than sort of) and then having the stone in my hand I looked around me and at the stone. The stone was about, um, the size of my palm and smooth, I suppose it was more of a pebble than anything, and it was just the right shape to fit into my fist. Around our camp, the zombies were everywhere, mostly underneith the trees we slept in walking around in circles trying to find the life-smell but not bothering to look up. What thickos. I looked around some more and I saw a zombie right undernieth my tree and auto-me thought (if she thinks at all, I certainly don't remember doing any thinking, but auto-me works in mysterious ways) something along the lines of, I can take him out easy, of course, you can't, not with a pebble. Ah well. So, pebble in hand, auto-me took aim and lobbed the pebble right at the creature's head. It was a good shot, credit where it's due, it hit him square in the top of the head, but it did nothing but notify him of my presense. He turned slowly, and I swear you could practically see the lightbulb turn on above his head as he looked up at me.

   I'm not good with words. The amount of times I rewrite these blogs to come up with something mediocre at best is amazing. So, having absolutley no time to choose any fitting last words I just settled with:

   "Shit..." I guess the zombie had a thing about swearing, because at this he just... yelled. Sounds like a bit of an anti-climax, but it was bloody loud. Loud enough to wake the entire group- my brother included. Without any words spoken, the group sprang into action in unison, as if rehearsed. Obviosley their rehersals did not include cutting someone down from the branches of a tree because no one even tried to help me down or even pass me my cricket bat, whick was anoying, not only for the obvious reasons, but also because the rope was tightening around my legs and cutting off the circulation.

   We were outnumbered. Badly. There were at least two or three times as many zombies there as people, and a lot of us were high up in trees so they had to climb rather than jump down. About four in the group were, uhh, eaten... on the way down. Paul Hutchins fell from the top of a pine. Why he was all the way at the top I do not know, but, well.... at least it was the fall that killed him... I was unable to do anything but watch the battle below and try to swing the occasional punch, but they never had much effect (when I managed to land one) so I might as well have not tried. The memories of this time are disoriontated, probably because I was hanging upsidedown and spinning around on a rope about 7 or 8 feet up in the air. But I know there was blood everywhere, and I'm not normally squimish, but I felt very ill. I saw Suze Gray trying to smash some zombie's face in with a crow bar and getting her arm ripped off for her efforts, and Andy Williamson was simply overwhealmed by zombies before he could reload his bow, I am glad I didn't see much of that as I revolved on my rope.

   My head was really hurting, all the blood was concentrated there and it felt to me as if my face weighed a tonne, but every cloud has a silver lining: my legs no longer hurted, but every silver lining has a cloud: I couldn't feel my legs at all. As I watched the fight below me, my sight darkened and things took on a surreal... feal, like a dream, I couldn't tell the difference between what was real and what wasn't. It's a bit like once when I was little I stayed up all night watching The Matrix 1, 2 and 3. I then had Matrix dreams and could no longer remember what did and did not happen in the last film... I'm still not ebtirely sure. Well. That night felt like that, especially when I could have sworn I saw someone re-grow their head... yah, that was weird. After the head-growinf incident things became even more blurry and confused, until there are no proper memories, but just feelings, and then all of a sudden things stopped as I drifted off......